Nursery for Twins and funded hours (better late than never!)
At the 9 month mark of twin motherhood, it came to be that we could not survive as a family without any income on my part. My statutory maternity pay was coming to an end, as was my little dream bubble of only having to worry about being mummy. I was at a crossroads. On one hand I was starting to feel the twangs of wanting to return to some form of work, but I had been waiting so long for my own children, our time together suddenly seemed so short! It seemed a cruel joke that I could have my job held open for a year, but I would have no support after 9 months, especially when other European countries get a lot more pay for a lot longer! As it was, I had my plan to come back teaching two days a week (seemed plenty with twins and I was about to go into one day a week training to be a counsellor,) had all my child care sorted thanks to Mum and my Aunt and began to get my mindset into being ‘working Mum.’ Then I got a phone call from work.
“We only have a position for you to come back 3 days a week and it is not the days you have asked for. We can accommodate this for you in September, but if you want to come back next month we need it to be Wednesday to Friday until July.”
Well that threw a spanner in the works! With a lot of help from Mum and Aunt, we were able to move some days around so they could still have the twins for us, but Friday - I had no plan for Friday. My only option was Nursery. Frantically, I began googling nurseries that were open as early as possible until as late as possible; that would take term time babies from 9 months, that was also local to me and would not cost the earth. Then I had to pray they had space for two!
As luck would have it, I found a nursery 12 minutes up the road that took babies and was open 8am-6pm. The bonus was, they had space for Ted and Erin. I had all the regular mum worries. They were too small for nursery! They will miss me, they have never been apart from me or Rob for a day with strangers. How could they possibly have my twins and other babies? Will they nap there? Will they get on with other children? As it turns out these worries were overshadowed by, “HOW MUCH?!” As it currently stands in the UK, 3 year olds get 30 hours of free funding for Nursery, everyone else has to pay and mine was about to be double, with a small 5% discount for Ted being the second born sibling to attend. I do not begrudge the nursery staff at all, they are saints and they deserve a decent pay! I was just trying to do the maths from the government. 9 months maternity pay then after that, most working mums need to return to work to survive, but no free nursery hours until they are 3. Tell a lie, they do offer some relief, tax free childcare. This is a scheme in which the government will foot 20% of the bill for nursery, so if the bill is £100, you pay £80 and the government will pay the £20. Better than nothing I suppose and luckily we qualify. (for more info see: https://www.gov.uk/tax-free-childcare)
Now as of April 2024, the government are giving us working mum’s more help! 15 free funded hours for 2 year olds and September 2024 will see 9 month olds getting 15 free hours too. As of September 2025, 30 hours will be available from 9 months until the start of school! So if you are reading this post September 2024 with twins and are looking to go back to work, hurrah you have some help and at least I can get something from September 2024. For funding to kick into effect, it has to be the term AFTER they turn the qualifying age. For example, if they are September to December babies, you get free hours as of January term. If they are January-March, the funding kicks in as of April term. April - July babies get funding from next September. The old 1,2,3 terms. As much as I want to moan about my nursery bill, help is coming!
Now what the free funding won’t cover depends on the nursery. It is not unusual for a nursery to charge a fee for nappies and food, but this is not always the case so ask around. It is also not uncommon for them to charge for term time only or to charge you for holding spaces whilst you are away. Every nursery is different, but be prepared for hidden costs! However some do have a sibling discount and every penny counts when you have to pay for nursery with twins.
But is Nursery worth the hype and the costs? I shall put my teacher and counselling training to one side and answer this as a mother. Firstly it is all about finding a nursery that is right for you as a family, but ultimately I looked for whether these people really care about my twins. Could I trust them and were they a kind and nurturing environment who saw not just my twins, but all babies and toddlers as unique and special? The location and costs came second to whether I thought the twins would be loved in my absence and whether or not they felt happy there.
When I went to look round our nursery, they all greeted the twins with smiles and said hello. The nursery manager took one off me to hold as we walked round and instantly I felt like they were not only competent at their job, but they genuinely loved children. I also took note of what I could see and hear. Were they comforting upset children and if so how? It is the little micro-moments, the apparent unseen interactions that give you a true picture and so far, all the children seemed happy, playing and well attended too - tick! Then came my quizzing - usual safeguarding queries and what an average day looked like. They sold it to me when they said we follow the children’s interest and naps and milk we will keep to the same schedule and routine you have at home - second big tick! Overall, I would say, go by your gut feeling of the place and take a look around at how the children there are.
When you find the one for you, you will have some settling in sessions. One where they play with you there and they ask the need to know questions about the twins and then usually 2 more where you stay for a bit, then leave for an hour. The final settle in session is something like a 2 hour stay and play without you. It is hard at first and you feel mega guilty, there is no escaping that! But you also feel at a loose end for what to do with your new found freedom - with phone on loud, just in case! Now my big tip here, especially with twins, is to make sure they have 2 different key persons. The twins will be in the same room and essentially have all the adults around them, but a key person is the main adult who will look out for development and build that bond with your child. Having two different key people means your twins will truly be seen as unique and not compared all the time with their development milestones. It will also give them a chance to have some 1:1 time with a different adult. I love the fact Ted and Erin have the ability to play with all the adults, but when it comes to talking about how they are getting on, I truly get two unique views of my two unique twins - and they are pretty accurate. Also, all nurseries nowadays have a parent app where they will post pictures of the twins learning, playing and having fun whilst you're away, with a small comment you can respond to. Ours use the parent zone app and I love that I can get a snapshot of Ted and Erin on a Friday that includes what they have eaten, how much they ate, any nappy changes and how long they have napped for (when they aren’t getting FOMO and actually nap!)
Development and attachment wise, I found the twins coped really well with transitioning to nursery one day a week and I think it was a combination of they had each other, so they weren’t truly alone and the staff were so nurturing and fun, they really enjoyed being there. In the year they have been at nursery I have seen them help me develop their eating skills- in which I mean sitting at a table, eating more independently and using cutlery. They are definitely more sociable and love saying hi to other children. I love that all the things I don’t get to do, like water play and painting and crafts, they do every week. Due to having different key persons, they were able to spend some one on one time with a twin helping them to walk too. I get a phone call at any head bumps (standard practice) and whenever I pick them up, I get a run down of the day. The twins honestly love nursery and now I am seeing their speaking and fine motor skills developing more as we approach the two year old stage. Nursery has helped build independence and give my twins some wider variety of learning experiences that I can't, not to mention learning to build social skills and make friends. They get lots of practice on how to share and play alongside each other nicely. All those worries I had about nursery vanished within a few weeks. The hardest part was leaving them to begin, but now, I know they are going to have a great day and the best bit is, they feed them all 3 meals and snacks, so I get to enjoy some fun when we get home and not worry about having to cook.
For us, Nursery has been a great asset to the twins and their development. We are lucky that the only downside is the large bill I have to foot each month and to give you a rough idea, we are paying approximately £550 a month pre the 20% tax free child care deduction. This is to send both twins in one day a week, but help is coming. But for me, to be able to return to work and the variety of experiences the twins are having and seeing how much more they are devloping is greatly outweighing the crippling cost each month. Nursery for the win!
